when the person who volunteers to read is completely illiterate
What’s your opinion on using animals for science?
We have prisons full of child molesters so I don’t know why we continue to test on animals
I couldn’t have thought of a more perfect response
When you have
to bury your face in,
the world doesn’t seem
like such a terrible place.
still my favorite fucking thing
when you accidentally open your front camera
[follows the red sox around w a fire extinguisher bcus they are hot hot hot!!!!!!!]
In 10 or 11 years when she gets the joke, she’s gonna love this photo.
How long do you think it takes a child to learn how to read
A pregnant employee at a Christian school was fired for having premarital sex — They offered the job to the man who got her pregnant.
Russia didn’t consider beer an alcoholic beverage until 2011. Before then, any drink under 10% volume was considered a soft drink.
Benjamin Franklin wasn’t trusted to write the Declaration of Independence. His peers feared he would include a joke in it.
You once held a world record when you were born for being the “Youngest Person on The Planet.”
Bottling up your emotions can lead to depression.
All the books in Dumbledore’s office in the Harry Potter movies are just the Yellow Pages rebound to look old.
Mr. T’s gold chains were taken from the people he beat up as a bouncer — He wore them openly so they could come back to get them.
Every year a masked man leaves roses and cognac at Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.
UPS was founded by two teenagers with one bicycle and $100.
The creators of Adidas and Puma were brothers… they were also Nazis.
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